The ‘worse’ was being compared to other marginally talented ‘pop tarts’ who seemed to dominate the current music scene. She knew that she was better than that—knew she ‘had the music in her’ and the ability to stun an audience with her vocal prowess and interpretation. She had done so on isolated occasions but had unfortunately gotten a reputation for being inconsistent and ‘not living up to her potential.’ Her second album had been pure pop—and had also gone multi-platinum. It had garnered even more scathing reviews in spite of producing two number one hits and a Grammy nomination. ‘Forgettable,’ said Rolling Stone, and that had been nicer than some others had been. Yet, her label had been ecstatic as the CDs leapt off the shelves and the download sites listed it in their top ten for almost six months. The constant scrutiny had taken its toll. She certainly knew that her taste in men, as illustrated by several dreadful failed relationships in the previous five years, was abysmal.. I loved the look and got so turned on I had to kneel down and play with myself, watching all the time. It worked, and it was truly wonderful. Over the next twenty years I did it increasingly until one day I found myself alone and divorced. The idea came to me that since I still loved dressing and wanted to do it more that maybe I should try going a bit further. I went on the net and found some places where I could get underwear and makeup and stuff without the embarrassment of having to go into a shop and explain that I was getting something for my girlfriend. It made it easier, and I could indulge myself. Eventually I had the whole lot. I had lingerie, high heeled shoes, make up, perfume, wigs, jewelry and a selection of dresses. I got better at putting on makeup and always had plenty of mirrors around so I could see myself fully dressed. I enjoyed it so much and felt just so right when I was dressed. I didn’t want to stop, not only because it made me feel so good, it also made my.
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